


It's Bloody And Raw (But I Swear It Is Sweet)

by Blackrising



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Multiple Pairings, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-15 17:24:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3455567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackrising/pseuds/Blackrising
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of femslash one-shots for The 100 because how could I not?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What We Are (It's A Start Towards The Truth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby/Raven - Clarke finds out

"We don't have to do this, you know?", Raven murmured, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. She was a confident person by nature and anxiety gnawing at her insides was not something she knew how to handle. A familiar pang of longing made her swallow. If only Finn were here. She could use her best friend right now.

Abby squeezed her hand tightly, interlacing their fingers. "My daughter is a smart girl. She'll find out sooner or later."  
Raven loved Abby's voice. It was strong and husky, sliding over her skin like a caress. She was intimately familiar with every aspect of it, how it sounded when Abby was happy, how it broke when she was sad, how it hardened to ice when she worried about Clarke, how it became deep and rough when Raven straddled her hips. Raven knew Abby's voice and could tell that despite the assured front, Abby was just as worried about how Clarke would take this as she was. Probably even more so, considering their rocky relationship.

"I know it'll be worse if she has to find out herself", Raven conceded, cracking a small grin. "But that doesn't mean this is a good idea. 'Hey Clarke, sorry about that time I was mad at you for sleeping with my boyfriend. By the way, I'm screwing your mother. She's great with her hands and her ass should have a monument in its honour, so try to get used to the idea of calling me Mum.' No matter how you say it, that just sounds bad."

One of Abby's eyebrows climbed up to her hairline and her expression was severely unimpressed, but there was a smile twitching at her lips. "How about we stick with 'Hey Clarke, this is my girlfriend'? I don't think having my ass anywhere in this conversation is gonna help things."  
Raven smirked and wrapped her arms around Abby's waist, sliding her hands down until they rested squarely on said ass. "That's what you think. As far as I'm concerned, you could force the Grounders into instant surrender with that thing."

Abby laughed, splaying her fingers over the mechanic's jaw. "That was an awful compliment, I hope you're aware of that."  
"Not a compliment, just a fact."

Despite rolling her eyes, Abby didn't protest when Raven leaned up to bring their lips together. It was still a shock to her how Raven had managed to worm her way into her heart so easily. She couldn't even tell when it had happened. Just that one day, she'd looked at her and realized that there had been a hole in her heart since the day Jake had been executed. Raven made that part of her light up, made her heart beat again for someone who wasn't her daughter.

Raven's lips were soft and warm, making the nerves in her body fire like nothing else quite managed to do. "It'll be okay", the mechanic whispered against her mouth, using her thumbs to draw soothing circles over the small of Abby's back. "Clarke will understand."

Abby wanted to believe that. Truth was, she wasn't sure she knew her daughter anymore. So instead of answering, she kissed Raven harder, cupping her neck to pull her closer. The other woman obeyed the unspoken command without protest, happily squeezing the doctor's ass beneath her palms.  
Abby took Raven's lower lip between her teeth, tugging lightly before soothing it with her tongue. 

The mechanic groaned. "If you keep that up", she chuckled breathlessly, digging her nails into soft flesh. "I'm afraid there'll be no more talking today." The doctor smirked, her hands drifting beneath Raven's shirt to stroke bare skin.

A loud cough made the couple freeze. Abby immediatly pulled her hands out of the mechanic's shirt and stepped back, letting Raven's arms - now robbed off their favourite pasttime next to tinkering with technology - awkwardly fall to her sides. Clarke stood in the doorway leading into the meeting room, watching them with impossibly wide eyes. Standing just behind her, Octavia was having trouble pulling her jaw back up. Scattered across the room, several people had stopped what they were doing to stare - among them a twitching Kane, a stoic Lincoln and a pointedly impatient Indra.

Uncomfortable silence descended upon them, no one willing to be the one to break it. Finally, Clarke cleared her throat. "Now that we're all here, we, uh, we should start the discussion." She turned on her heel and walked back towards the round table, signaling for everyone to sit down.  
Raven leaned in, running her hand down Abby's back. "Hey, at least she knows now", she whispered, grinning just a little too brightly. Abby allowed the mechanic to take her hand and pull her into the room, trying not to think of the discussion that undoubtedly awaited her once this was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: "All Over Me" by Aurah feat. Lindsay Harper


	2. The Truth Is That I Am Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa/Clarke - Accidental Proposal

Clarke wandered through the Grounders camp, watching the warriors train and overlooking her own people to make sure there were no accidental deaths. The Grounders had reluctantly offered to teach them their way of fighting, thanks to a bit of prompting from Lexa, but they'd insisted on doing it in their own camp.

"How are they doing?", Octavia asked, falling in step beside her. Clarke shook her head. "Don't ask me, I don't know the first thing about close combat. To me, it just looks like we're getting pounded."  
Octavia snickered. "You probably are. Grounders don't go easy on anyone." She flexed her shoulder, wincing at the pain. "Indra keeps beating me down every morning and calls it training. I think she just enjoys seeing me suffer."

They stopped next to a hastily erected fence ring. A group of people - Grounders and Sky People alike - had already gathered around it, cheering and stomping their feet. They parted as Clarke approached to let her through and the reason for their excitement quickly made itself known.  
Inside the ring, Lexa stood facing a hulking brute of a man, skillfully twirling her sword in her hands. Her face was stoic as always, but there was a determined gleam in her eyes that betrayed her lust for battle. 

She was beautiful, Clarke had to admit. All lean muscles and coiled tension.

The opponents circled each other, neither of them taking their eyes off the other. Clarke knew that Lexa was a great warrior. She'd have to be or her people wouldn't accept her as their leader. She'd seen her prowess in battle on many occasions, yet the thought of her beating a man that was twice her size and probably thrice her weight seemed absurd.

It was the brute that attacked first. He darted forward, surprisingly quick for his stature, aiming straight for Lexa's heart, but the Commander neatly stepped aside, bringing her elbow down on his arm. There was a loud crack and a pained grunt, but he didn't slow down, immediatly whirling around and catching her in the arm with his sword.  
Lexa didn't seem bothered by the wound, continuing to dodge and block his attacks until the brute was breathing heavily.

"Her sword skills are impressive", Octavia whispered to Clarke, eyes trained on the fight. "He's no challenge if they continue like this."

The Commander seemed to have come to the same conclusion because she caught the man's eyes and threw her sword to the ground, kicking it across the ring and past the fence. Her opponent nodded and did the same, throwing his sword behind him.

He was at a slight advantage now due to his greater physical strength, but Lexa was still quicker than him. Clarke watched with a sort of fascination as the Commander ducked, darted and rolled out of the way of every punch the brute threw. A vein was pulsing on his forehead, obviously frustrated at not being able to land a single punch.

The Grounders among the audience had started a rhythmic chanting and stomping, reminding Clarke of the war drums they used to warn their enemies of their impending demise.  
Instead of attacking again, the brute suddenly smirked, reaching beneath his fur coat and pulling out another sword, slicing it through the air. An outcry went through the crowd.

"Hey, that's cheating", Clarke exclaimed, pulling her shoulders back. Octavia shook her head, but didn't look particularly pleased either. "Doesn't matter. If she calls him out on it, it'll be seen as a sign of cowardice. Grounders don't back out of a fight, no matter the circumstances."

"But how is she supposed to fight him when she doesn't even have a weapon?", Clarke protested, eyebrows drawing together. She didn't like the thought of Lexa losing a fight just because her opponent was a douchebag.

Lexa was still avoiding his attacks, but her movements were getting slower. His blade caught her in the thigh, blood staining the fabric of her pants. Either she found a way to end this quickly, or she'd lose.

"That's it, this can't go on", Clarke growled, drawing the knife from her belt. It was one that had been crafted just for her, by the best blacksmith the Grounders had to offer. A sword like the one Lexa or Indra had would have been too difficult for her to handle, so she'd settled on a long, vicious-looking knife.  
Octavia eyed her worriedly. "Clarke, what are you doing?" 

Clarke ignored the warning tone in her voice and whistled sharply. "Lexa!" Both the Commander and her opponent turned to look at her at the sudden interruption. "Take my knife!" She threw the weapon as carefully as possible, hoping Lexa would be able to catch it.

As soon as Lexa's fingers had wrapped around the handle, a gasp went through the crowd, the Grounders around them going deadly still. Next to her, Octavia groaned and muttered beneath her breath. Lexa stared at her, wide-eyed and far more expressive than she'd ever seen her, Clarke's knife trembling in her iron grip.

The brute that had been intent on slicing her up with his sword just a few moments ago immediatly put it back into his belt, pulled his shoulders straight and raised a hand high into the air.  
"Clarke of the Sky People has declared her intent!", he exclaimed, his voice echoing sharp and clear through the camp. "A bond offer has been made and demands an answer."

"What?" Clarke looked between him and Lexa, who was still looking at her with what she assumed was the Grounder version of bone-crippling panic. "Octavia, what is happening?"

The crowd was growing, the whole camp seemingly gathering to hear whatever was happening. Clarke was relieved to see that her own people looked as confused as she did. "Please tell me I did not just challenge her to a battle to the death."  
Octavia laughed nervously. "Not exactly, no. You gifted her your weapon. Your personal weapon."

"So?"

"So", Octavia explained in a hushed whisper. "Grounders don't willingly part with their weapon. Losing it is considered losing part of your body."

A sense of dread was beginning to creep up Clarke's spine. "So, giving someone my weapon..."

"Means offering them a part of yourself. It's the most intimate gesture one can make."

"And when he said I 'declared my intent', he meant..."

Octavia sighed. "It means that you just asked the Commander to marry you."

"Oh", Clarke breathed out, feeling like her knees might give out any moment. Lexa was still watching her, seemingly contemplating what exactly Clarke's play was. "Can't she just turn me down?"

"You're lucky you're still alive", Octavia murmured. "If anyone who was considered inferior had done this, Lexa would have been forced to cut them down on the spot. It's considered an insult to ask a union of someone of a higher station."

"So I didn't insult her, great. Why isn't she turning me down?" The crowd was getting anxious, waiting for Lexa's answer. At this point, Clarke wouldn't be surprised if the Commander decided to kill her anyway, just to spare herself the embarrassement.

"Because turning you down would mean she considers you inferior."

Clarke blinked at Octavia. "Are you saying that she either agrees to marry me or she kills me right here? What kind of rule is that?"

Octavia shook her head helplessly.

The brute cleared his throat, his hand still in the air. "A bond offer has been made and demands an answer", he repeated, just as loudly as before.  
Lexa glared at him sharply, baring her teeth. "I heard you."

Her eyes returned to Clarke as she approached her with measured steps, her grip around the knife's handle hard enough to turn her knuckles white. Everyone watched as she came to a halt just in front of her.  
"If I refuse, I will have to kill you", she said, low enough that only Clarke could hear. "It's your decision."

Clarke gulped and looked around. Some of her people had turned away to give them some semblance of privacy, while the Grounders continued to observe them closely, no doubt waiting for bloodshed. She turned back to Lexa and gave her an almost imperceptable nod. The Commander let out a breath, tucking the dagger into her belt, and Clarke realized it was relief at not having to kill her. Coming from a Grounder, that was almost flattering.

Lexa raised her chin, looking over Clarke at the assembled crowd. "The bond offer has been accepted", she spoke and a deafening chant rose from the ranks of the Grounders, booming across the entire camp. The Sky People hesitantly started clapping, though it was obvious they weren't quite certain for what.

One of the Grounders had retrieved Lexa's sword and offered it hilt-first. The Commander grasped the weapon in her hands and turned to face Clarke. She went down on one knee, presenting the sword to her on upturned palms. "I offer you my sword, Clarke of the Sky People, as you have offered me yours."

Clarke shifted hesitantly, not knowing what was expected of her. Lexa patiently waited for her to make her move, her stare unwavering. She had pretty eyes, expressive eyes that sometimes stirred warmth in Clarke even when the rest of Lexa's face was passive and closed-off.

"You have to accept the sword", Octavia mumbled out of the corner of her mouth, pushing her into action.

Clarke reached for the weapon. "I accept the offer." She'd never wasted much thought on marriage or proposals. It had never ocurred to her that it might one day become relevant. He throat was dry and there was a nervous fluttering in her stomach when she fastened Lexa's sword to her own belt.  
The Commander got back on her feet, nodding.

"The swords have been exchanged. The claim will be sealed with a mark", she exclaimed for everyone to hear, before lowering her voice for Clarke. "It is customary to mark your betrothed, as a warning to others."

"A warning?", Clarke asked. That didn't sound particularly pleasant.

"Whoever touches another's betrothed must be put to the sword. There will be no trial, no justification. Death is the only outcome."

Clarke had learned the hard way that Grounders put their traditions above everything. If Lexa said she'd kill them, she would. They would have to have a conversation about exactly what kind of touch warranted execution, but that was a thought for later."What kind of mark?"

Lexa's eyes slid over her cheek and her bobbing throat, coming to rest on the space where neck met shoulder. "A bite. Deep enough to draw blood and leave a scar."

Clarke nodded. "So you bite me, and I assume I have to do the same to you. And then?"

"Then you will be mine, as I will be yours. The union ceremony will happen later, but it's a mere formality. As soon as we are marked, our lives will be one. My sword will be your sword, my food will be your food, my clan will be your clan. Insulting you will mean insulting me. If your life is forfeit, then so is mine."

Clarke swallowed at the thought. A union here seemed to hold much of the same principles as marriage did back on the Ark, except she was sure the Grounders meant all of their vows in the most literal way possible.

"I'm sorry", she whispered, hoping to convey her sincerity through looks alone. "I didn't want to force you into this." 

Lexa's eyebrows rose. "There is no need for apologies. You are a worthy mate and a leader to your people. You will make my clan stronger."

Clarke accepted the sentiment, breathing in deeply. "Alright, lets do this." 

She tilted her head to the side, offering her neck in a clear invitation. Lexa nodded and took hold of the back of her neck with one hand, brushing aside her hair with the other. Clarke only had a moment to analyse the feeling of Lexa's lips on her neck before the woman bit down sharply, piercing the skin in one move.  
She tried not to cry out at the pain, but a whimper escaped anyway.  
The Commander drew back immediatly, soothingly lapping up the blood trickling from the wound.

As soon as the pain had receeded, Clarke nodded for Lexa to expose her neck. The Commander obeyed without protest, brushing her hair and collar aside.  
Clarke grasped her shoulder, more to steady herself than anything, and lowered her lips onto the skin. She hesitated only a moment before she bit down. It wasn't enought to break the skin and Clarke gathered her wits before pressing down harder. When she finally tasted blood on her tongue, she knew she had probably caused Lexa more pain than necessary. Before she lifted her head, she pressed a soft kiss to the abused skin in a silent apology.

Lexa nodded sharply and addressed the crowd. "The marks have been made. Thus, the bond has been declared." The loudest cheer yet rose from the people around them and even the Sky People enthusiastically joined in, probably having realized by know what was going on.

Clarke only relaxed when the crowd finally dispersed, leaving her alone with Lexa and Octavia. "I'll make a trip to Camp Jaha. To prepare them", Octavia said with a nod and disappeared through the gate.

Now that she was alone with Lexa, Clarke wasn't sure what to say. Thankfully, she didn't have to.  
"There is much we have to discuss." Lexa tilted her head to the side. "I should have asked before. Do your people have any union traditions you wish to uphold?"

Clarke contemplated the question for a moment before nodding. "There are."

She cupped Lexa's face in both of her hands, momentarily enjoying the confusion on her face, and brushed their lips together. The Commander was unresponsive and Clarke kissed her more insistently, urging her to take action.

Warmth spread in her belly when Lexa responded, pushing back against her the same way she fought her battles. Determined, focused and all-consuming. Clarke grabbed the next best piece of clothing she could get her hands on and pulled Lexa closer until they were pressed together. Arms wapped around her waist, fingers digging possessively into her hips. The wound on her neck pulsed in time with her rapid heartbeats and when Clarke finally pulled back for air, her face was red and flushed.

"We usually kiss before getting bonded", she chuckled breathlessly, loosening her grip on the Commander's shoulders. "The rest I'll tell you about later."

As Clarke left to continue her duties, she threw a last amused glance over her shoulder. Lexa watched her go with her usual stoic expression, twitching hands and a fire burning behind her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: "I Choose You" by Amanda Jenssen


	3. You Let Me Fall Apart (Without Letting Go)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa/Raven - Battle Scars

Raven hated the Grounders Camp. 

She hated the way they all stared at her, at her lagging gait and the brace around her leg, like she was some kind of circus animal. She supposed in their culture, people like her - she couldn't quite bring herself to think the word 'disabled' - were put to the sword or thrown to the wolves or whatever else these lunatics deemed suitable.

She would have quite happily spent all her days on the Ark, fiddling around with machinery and showing Wick what a simpleton he was, but Clarke had requested her presence. And what Clarke wanted, Clarke got. Raven didn't envy the decisions she had to make, but being the de facto leader did have its perks.

So now Raven had spent the better half of the morning getting a feel for the camp and the improvements that could be made to it. She was busy calculating how much material would be needed to construct one or two functional showers when she felt a presence behind her. She tried to ignore it, she really did. The Grounders had paid her no mind so far apart from the occasional look and she was hoping to keep it that way.

Eventually, after it became clear that her visitor would be standing there until sundown if necessary, Raven turned around, a gruff inquiry on her tongue. It died when the stoic figure of the Commander herself greeted her.

"Commander", she acknowledged, jaw tensing and teeth gritting. Of course it had to be the one Grounder she wouldn't mind throwing to the Reapers herself.

Lexa inclined her head in greeting. "You are the 'Mechanic', are you not? Clarke has told me you wish to make changes to our camp."

Leave it to Clarke to make it sound like Raven had come up with the idea. "Yeah, sure", she said curtly, shrugging. The Commander didn't respond, apparently waiting for her to elaborate. She didn't.

"What did you have in mind?", Lexa finally asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. 

Raven cleared her throat and went down on one knee, awkwardly fumbling with her hurt leg until she'd arranged it into a semi-comfortable position. She'd been wearing her brace for months now, but there were some movements she still had trouble with.

Her face burned as she felt the Commander studying her intently. She probably thought her utterly pathetic. The weak little Sky Girl that couldn't even perform the most simple of movements because she was a damn cripple.

"I was thinking we fortify the camp with metal from the Ark", Raven spit out quickly, drawing a circle into the dirt to explain the positioning. "Here, and here. Those are the sides that seem most vulnerable." 

Lexa was quiet while Raven explained the rest of her plans, only nodding to show she had understood.

"I could build a few showers as well, but those are low priority", the Mechanic finished, wiping her hand on her pants. 

She took a deep breath and slowly got up from her kneeling position. There was a short moment in which her leg gave out and she thought she would take a dive face-first into the mud, but she managed to catch herself at the last minute.  
Lexa watched the process and Raven wasn't sure whether she was angry or grateful that she didn't offer her a hand.

"How about you and your buddies stop staring at me? Don't you have some more people to execute?", she eventually snapped when the Commander continued to watch her like a particularly grotesque insect.

Lexa wasn't fazed in the least by her outburst. The absolute non-reaction made Raven wonder if the Commander had even heard her.

"Your leg. You are having trouble with it."

Raven frowned, shaking her head disbelievingly. "No shit."

In two short strides, Lexa had covered the distance between them and splayed her fingers over Raven's upper chest.  
"What-" The rest of her sentence transformed into a startled yelp as the Commander gave her a hearty push that sent her straight on her ass.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?", Raven shrieked, more out of surprise than pain. 

Lexa didn't answer, looking down at her with an unreadable expression. The Mechanic got to her feet with some difficulty and grabbed the other woman by the collar, pulling her down until they were level. 

"Who do you think you are?", she growled, resisting the urge to wipe the bored look off the Commander's face. Just barely.

"It would be wiser to ask who you are, Mechanic", Lexa responded quietly. 

Before Raven could do so much as open her mouth, Lexa had pushed her down again, just as effortlessly as before.

The animosity towards this woman - the one who was at least indirectly responsible for Finn's death - bubbled underneath Raven's skin, mixing with the frustration of being treated like some sort of toy to be pushed around.

Raven stood up again and pulled back her arm, not bothering to hold back this time. The Commander side-stepped her punch with no difficulty, catching her arm and twisting it painfully behind her back. 

Lexa brought her head down, murmuring into Raven's ear. "Predictable."

The next moment, Raven was back in the dirt. This game kept going for long minutes, Lexa shoving her to the ground again and again, holding her down whenever Raven couldn't get up quick enough, and Raven attempting to hit her with progressively enraged punches that just never seemed to hit.

"You are not quick enough", the Commander explained calmly as she used Raven's own momentum to throw her to the ground, again. "You'll never hit me like this."

Raven used Lexa's lecture to right herself, quickly and smoothly now, and ran at her again. She pulled back her arm and could see the moment Lexa shifted to the side to avoid the expected punch. Instead of slowing and going through with the movement, Raven kept her momentum. She barreled into the Commander, who gasped for air as she was taken down.

It was a chance and Raven took it. Pouring all her anger and frustration - about Finn, about her injury, about her friends in Mount Weather - into a single punch, her fist connected with Lexa's jaw. There was a satisfying crunch, though she couldn't tell whose bones it were, and a pained hiss Raven allowed herself to fully enjoy.  
Wiping the back of her hand over her forehead, she attempted to get her breathing back under control.

"So much for not being able to hit you", she panted, climbing off the other woman. 

It was odd, but her anger had all but evaporated. All she felt now was exhausted and strangely calm. She guessed beating someone was as good a therapy as she was gonna get here.

Raven offered the Commander her hand and was suprised when Lexa let herself be pulled up. She was even more surprised to see a small smile playing around her lips. "You did well, Mechanic."

She chuckled dryly. "I got one punch in. I don't think I'll be fighting Reapers anytime soon."

Lexa shook her head. "You had no hope of defending yourself against me without full use of your legs", she started, not a single trace of mockery in her voice. "But you adapted. You learned to work with your body instead of against it and you prevailed."

Raved swallowed, her throat suddenly dry and narrow. Lexa's face was as closed-off as always, but her eyes were wide and sincere.

"The reason my people stare at you isn't because of your wounds. It's because you don't display them with your head held high, as you should."

"Display them?", Raven muttered weakly. "Why in the world would I do that?"

Lexa crouched down, resting the palm of one hand on the Mechanic's brace. Raven felt the urge to pull back, to hide herself, but something about the Commander's eyes kept her tethered. "This is a sign of your strength", Lexa explained fervently. "Proof of the battles you fought and survived. Proof that your spirit is that of a warrior."

She straightened and somehow, the lack of a hand on her numb leg felt like a loss to Raven.

"Wear your battle scars proudly, Raven Reyes of the Sky People."

Raven nodded dumbly, watching the Commander bow her head briefly before turning on her heel and disappearing between the tents. She shook her head at the strange encounter, resolving to concentrate on her calculations.

The fluttering in her stomach, however, remained long after Lexa had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: "Break In" by Halestorm


	4. Maybe I Just Wanna Be Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indra/Octavia - Courtship

Octavia grunted as she hefted the deer off her shoulder, ignoring the mud splattering her vest as the carcass hit the ground. She pulled the knife from her belt and drove it between the animal's ribs. It was a senseless action, but claiming your kill was part of the rite and Octavia was determined to adhere to it.

Indra blinked, eyeing the deer suspiciously. "What is this?"

"A deer", Octavia answered, suppressing the smirk that wanted to break out at Indra's irritated glare. "I hunted it for you."

Indra huffed, turning back to the fire . "I am not so easily influenced, girl. Whatever you hope to achieve with this, it is not going to work."

Octavia's mouth twitched up into a small smile as she retrieved her knife and slipped back out of sight, content in the knowledge that Indra did not reject the offering.

______________________

Octavia followed Indra through the woods silently, careful to avoid dry leaves and branches that would give away their position.

Indra raised a hand and Octavia came to an instant stop, holding her breath. She saw them even before Indra pointed them out - two men in hazmat suits. They were too busy checking their guns to notice them.

Indra reached for her sword, but before she could unsheathe it, Octavia laid a hand on hers and shook her head. She didn't wait for Indra to scold her and pulled her own sword, sneaking up to the mountain men without a sound.  
The first one fell before he could do so much as scream. The second one managed to hold his own for a few moments - even got a few punches in - but he, too, lay dead at her feet before long.

Octavia took a deep breath before kneeling down next to the corpse. She grimaced as she pierced the man's chest with her knife. It took force and time, but eventually she was able to reach in and pull her price from him.

When she turned around, Indra was staring at her with an unreadable expression. Well, mostly unreadable. Octavia liked to think that hidden behind the suspicion and bewilderment, there was something like respect glinting in her eyes.  
She approached her First and lay the still-warm heart at her feet, never breaking eye-contact. "A death for you", she murmured and backed up, not waiting around for Indra's reaction.

She did rather enjoy the confused stare that followed her, however.

___________________

The Grounder bared his teeth at her, growling menacingly. Octavia growled right back, her finger twitching around the pommel of her sword. She didn't want to get into a fight over food, but she would if he tried to keep her from what she came for.

He finally huffed and stepped back, giving her access to the boar roasting over the fire. Octavia had spent enough time with them to know that it wasn't always about being bigger and stronger. Being hard-headed worked just as well.

She quickly cut off a big piece of the animal, right underneath the ribs and above the hind legs. Grounders weren't too picky about what they ate, but it still wasn't easy to get to the best cuts first. Before someone else had a chance to challenge her for it, she slipped away from the fire and went in search for Indra.

Octavia found her in deep conversation with the Commander and the other Generals, gathered around a smaller fire. Clarke joined them after a short moment, handing Lexa one of the plates she was holding and earning herself a small smile.

It gave Octavia a strange sort of ego boost to see that Lexa's meal looked far less appetizing than the one she'd snatched up.

She walked up next to Indra, quietly holding out the plate. Indra didn't acknowledge her other than accepting the food, but paused after taking the first bite. If she was aware of the extra effort Octavia had put in, she didn't comment.

_____________________

"What are you _doing_ , Sky Girl?"

Octavia didn't flinch at the sudden question. She'd heard Indra coming, no doubt only because Indra had wanted her to.

The General joined her side and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "And I advise you not to lie to me."

Octavia leaned her back against the tree next to her and faced her First with a small smirk. Indra looked as irritated as ever, though Octavia always caught that tiny bit of warmth playing around her eyes when she managed to do well in a fight or got a punch in during training.

"I wasn't going to."

"Then out with it. Bringing me the deer, dedicating your fights to me? What were you _thinking_?"

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "If you have to ask that, maybe I wasn't as clear as I'd intended."

The glare she got in return threatened to burn her alive. "You were very clear. So I ask again, have you lost your mind?"

"Maybe", Octavia shrugged. "I am trying to court you, Indra, not throwing stones at Reapers."

"Courting is not a joking matter."

Octavia frowned, frustration beginning to crawl up her spine. "I know that."

Indra shook her head, rubbing at her eyebrow with two fingers like she was talking to a particularly difficult child. "Then you should not have done what you did. You are not a Grounder. You can't understand the significance behind your actions."

Octavia's expression darkened. "I may not understand everything about your people, but I do understand one thing. You're a hypocrite."

Indra's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Insulting me is a bad idea, girl", she hissed, stepping closer.

It was sound advise. Getting yourself into a fight with a Grounder was a sure-fire way to end up with bruises and a bloody nose, if you were lucky. Octavia didn't care. "You knew what was going on. You could have stopped me at any time, rejected any of my offerings. But you didn't."

Indra's jaw clenched, but Octavia ploughed ahead. "You accepted the deer, you let me kill for you, you took what I gave you without protest."

She hooked her fingers into the collar of Indra's armour and pulled until they were pressed together, Octavia caught between the metal of Indra's armour and the rough bark of the tree. "You're letting me do this now", she muttered, hands drifting to the other woman's hips.

"You don't know what you're asking for", Indra whispered heatedly, bracing one hand against the bark over Octavia's head. "I am not like the little boys at your camp. I am not like Lincoln. I will not go easier on you just because you flutter your eyelashes at me. And if you are mine, then you are so completely."

Octavia slipped one hand over Indra's neck to the back of her head, enjoying the feeling of coarse hair gliding through her fingers. "Good", she breathed out and yanked Indra's head down, pressing their lips together.

Indra wasn't gentle. Her lips were bruising, her teeth were sharp as they pulled at her flesh, her fingers dug painfully into her skin and her kisses left marks over Octavia's skin.

She wasn't gentle, but neither was Octavia.

When they parted, their lips were bloody, though neither of them could tell whose blood it was, and Octavia's nails had left crescent-shaped marks on the back of Indra's neck. "This is your last chance to leave and forget about it all. There won't be another", Indra warned her, studying her with stoic features and a hint of affection in her eyes that Octavia would cut out a hundred more hearts for.

"What, afraid you won't be able to handle me?", Octavia smirked, waiting for the inevitable glare.

Indra growled and pushed her harder against the tree, wrapping a hand around her throat. "I told you, girl, insulting me is a very bad idea."

Octavia was all too happy to accept her punishment.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: "I Wanna Be Yours" by the Arctic Monkeys


	5. I Can't Give You The World (But I Can Give You All Of Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa/Clarke - Clarke gets jealous

When Clarke had said 'I'm not ready', she'd meant 'give me another month or so'. She'd meant 'not in the middle of war'. 'Not while our friends are out there'.

What she _hadn't_ meant was 'completely forget about this thing between us'. But Lexa obviously hadn't gotten that memo.

After their kiss, Clarke had assumed they would go to war, find their friends and hopefully all come back safely, and then her and Lexa could think about maybe giving this relationship a go. She'd assumed that there would be a few weeks of dancing around each other, of meaningful glances and questioning smiles before Clarke could safely claim to be ready for this.

Well, they did go to war. They did find their friends. And miraculously enough, they came back. The hardest part was done. Except the next part of her plan - the part where innocent looks and touches transformed into something heady and exciting, where Lexa was supposed to anxiously wait for Clarke's go-ahead - didn't happen.

There was nothing.

As soon as the battle had ended and the mountain men had been defeated, Clarke had looked around in search for the Commander. She'd breathed a sigh of relief when she'd found her wiping the blood from her blade and for a moment, she'd contemplated kissing her, the thrill of battle still coursing through her veins. Lexa had looked at her and Clarke had figured she was battling the same thoughts. Clarke had leaned in, forgetting about all the issues she was facing, her heart beating rapidly...and then Lexa had given her a small nod and turned around to assist the injured.

And so it continued.

Clarke hadn't realized how often Lexa used to watch her until she wasn't. When Clarke made her daily rounds through the Grounders Camp to check on those that had been hurt in the battle, Lexa nodded at her once in greeting and then ignored her. No smile, no glances, not even a simple 'hello'. When Clarke passed her by, closer than neccessary, Lexa simply shifted to the side to avoid contact and otherwise paid her no mind.  
Even when they were talking, discussing how to best ensure a continued alliance or how to enforce the walls around camp, Lexa's eyes strayed, flitting over Clarke's face for a moment before focusing on something in the distance.

Where previously Lexa's eyes would have slid over Clarke's lips and throat and, as Clarke had realized once she knew to pay attention, down to her cleavage, her gaze now never left her eyes - if she looked at her at all.

They still talked, Lexa still gave her unhindered access to her tent and whatever else she needed, she still made sure that Clarke had all the protection she could possibly need, but nothing beyond that. Nothing that would in any way indicate feelings beyond friendship on Lexa's part. Some days, Clarke wondered whether she'd imagined their kiss in the tent.

It wasn't a pleasant situation, but Clarke dealt with it. Her confused love life was a minor problem compared to the tension between Sky People and Grounders and she knew how to keep herself busy.

Or so she'd thought. Right up until the moment she'd noticed that _girl_.

She'd been one of the Grounders caught in Mount Weather and when they'd freed her, it had been obvious that she was a friend of Lexa's by the way they'd grabbed each other's arms tightly in greeting. Clarke hadn't paid her any special attention. At first.

And then she'd started to realize that she was always _there_. Whenever Clarke caught sight of Lexa, the girl was nearby, hovering next to the Commander. Sometimes she saw her slipping into or out of Lexa's tent, making Clarke's stomach feel strangely hollow.

Clarke wasn't the jealous type. Even when she'd found out about Raven, she hadn't been jealous. Hurt, yes, but not jealous. It was a petty emotion that never accomplished anything and she had no time to worry herself over things she couldn't change.  
No, she wasn't the jealous type, but that didn't stop her from watching Lexa shower the girl with attention and wondering if she'd really been replaced that quickly.

"You're staring again", Raven said impassively, prying the bottle of pain killers from Clarke's cramped fingers. "And we still need those, thank you."

"I wasn't staring", Clarke grumbled, rearranging the knife hanging from her belt.

Raven looked at her in a decidedly unimpressed fashion. "Look, Clarke, I'm saying this because you're my friend and we've been through enough shit together that I feel you deserve to know the truth", she sighed. "I didn't think I'd ever have to say this, but you're being a goddamn idiot."

Clarke's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to retort, eventually letting it fall closed again with an audible click.

"Just talk to her already", Raven prompted with a nod in Lexa's direction. The Commander was currently in deep conversation with her _friend_ , listening intently and nodding her head. _Her_ she had no problem looking at, apparently.

Clarke shook her head and went back to collecting the bloody bandages strewn across the ground. Most of the Grounders got tired of them quickly and just disposed of them wherever they liked. "I wasn't ready. She found someone else. There's nothing left to talk about."

"So tell her you're ready now. You can't expect her to make a decision without knowing she has a choice."

In that moment, Lexa looked up, her cool gaze catching Clarke's. There was the usual nod of acknowledgement before she turned her attention back to the conversation at hand, swiftly forgetting Clarke's presence.

"I don't think there is a choice, actually", Clarke muttered too quietly for Raven to hear, eyebrows drawing together at the fond smile Lexa bestowed upon the girl in front of her.

__________________

Clarke hesitated in front of the flap of Lexa's tent. She never used to do that, but lately she'd become afraid of what she might stumble upon if she just barged in.

She cleared her throat loudly, waiting a few moments to give them time to cover up if needed, before pulling the flap aside and entering the dim space.

Lexa and the girl both looked up from the map on the table. "Clarke", the Commander acknowledged, rolling up the map and handing it to her friend. The girl took the cue, squeezing Lexa's shoulder, and left, giving Clarke a respectful nod as she passed. Clarke tried to smile in response, but only managed a small twitch, feeling her eyebrows draw together in that perpetual frown she hadn't been able to get rid of since escaping from Mount Weather.

"Did you want something?", Lexa asked, turning her attention back to the cluttered table and righting a fallen goblet. Was it just Clarke's imagination or was her hair messier than usual?

"Raven finished drawing up the plans", she answered, joining Lexa's side and laying the blueprints out on the table. If she bent down further than necessary to do so and accidentally pulled at the hem her shirt to reveal a glimpse of cleavage, well then that was not her fault. Pure coincidence.

Lexa's eyes remained stubbornly fixed on the documents in front of her, subtly leaning to the side. Clarke frowned harder. It was like Lexa couldn't even bear to breathe the same air, much less come into direct contact with her.

Clarke stepped closer, Lexa slid further down the table. Clarke braced her hand on the table next to the Commander's, Lexa casually moved hers away. Clarke stretched her neck to look over Lexa's shoulder at the blueprints and the Commander quickly pushed the plans towards her until Clarke was forced to retreat.  
And all the while, Lexa didn't spare her a single glance.

"Okay, this is ridiculous", Clarke finally sighed out in frustration, annoyance winning out over good sense. "You changed your mind and that's fine, but there's no reason to treat me like I have fleas."

Lexa's eyes snapped to her, confusion plain on her face. "What are you talking about?"

Clarke gestured to the space between them, lips pressed into a thin line. "This. You go out of your way to avoid touching me, you step away when I come too close, you won't even _look_ at me."

She shrugged. "I get it, okay? You made yourself clear. I would have preferred if you'd just told me, but I got the message."

The Commander had the decency to look mildly embarrassed. "I was hoping you wouldn't...it wouldn't have been fair to you."

Clarke's eyebrows climbed up to her hairline and she shook her head in disbelief. "You haven't been very subtle about the whole thing", she said, remembering all the times she'd seen the girl leave Lexa's tent.

Beneath Lexa's warpaint, something almost like a blush seemed to crawl up her neck and belied her stoic expression. She swallowed. "It wasn't an easy task."

The nervous twitch of the Commander's jaw and her averted eyes caused a small pang of sadness to lace through Clarke's abdomen. She'd known it before, of course, but hearing Lexa admit to it out loud turned out to be worse than she'd anticipated.

It felt a lot like heartbreak.

"I told you, it's fine. Let's just get back to Raven's plans", she said, taking a deep breath and trying not to let the whole thing bother her. At least Lexa didn't move away this time.

Which brought on a whole other set of complications, she soon realized. She felt Lexa's eyes on her, felt the warmth of her body next to hers, and Clarke wondered if she hadn't done herself a disservice by putting an end to the charade.

"Clarke", Lexa started, laying a hesitant hand on her shoulder. Clarke's body tensed and she ignored the shiver that ran up her spine at the sound of her name. "I should have tried harder. I apologize."

Clarke slipped out of her grasp, pretending not to notice the hurt look in the Commander's eyes. "No, you should have talked to me. You should have trusted me enough to just tell me you were done waiting instead of giving me the cold shoulder."

Lexa opened her mouth to retort, then closed it, then opened it again. "Done waiting? What-"

"Nevermind. Maybe we should continue with the blueprints later", Clarke huffed in frustration and turned, determined to walk out and leave this mess behind her.

"Clarke, wait." A hand fell on her shoulder and tugged her back around.

Clarke stared at Lexa's face right in front of her own and for a moment, it looked like she was going to kiss her. Her gaze glued to her lips, the hand on her skin warm and rough from fighting, the air in the tent hot and thick - Clarke felt like she was back in that moment just before the battle. Except this time, she wasn't going to say no.

And except this time, Lexa let go of her and retreated instead of leaning in. The Commander studied her intently, earnestly. "I have never stopped waiting."

Clarke laughed dryly and humourlessly. She knew it was an ugly sound and part of her felt bad for making a scene when she had no right to be jealous. "Right. What about the girl?"

Lexa stared at her uncomprehendingly for a second before her eyes widened fractionally. "Meera?"

If she was honest, Clarke had never bothered to learn the girl's name, but she nodded anyway.

"Meera and I grew up together", the Commander explained. When Clarke's expression remained as cloudy as ever, she continued, "She's like a sister to me. When she didn't return from a scouting mission, I believed I'd never see her again."

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek. It made sense. All the time they spent together, all the interactions they'd had...Clarke had simply assumed they were of a romantic nature when they could be taken as entirely innocent.

"Then why did you avoid me?"

Lexa touched a hand to Clarke's face, her thumb coming to rest on her cheekbone and lightly stroking the skin. Her eyes softened and it was like the shutters had finally lifted, allowing everything she felt to pour through. Her eyes alighted on Clarke's lips like she was the last drop of water in an endless desert and Clarke's breath caught.

"You asked for space. Being near you makes it hard to give you that."

A shaky, amused smile twitched at the corners of Clarke's mouth. "Are you saying you refused to look at me because you were afraid you might jump me?"

The Commander swallowed. "I fear nothing."

It wasn't true and they both knew it, but Clarke allowed Lexa to keep her dignity. "Well, if you had looked at me", she said, voice dropping to a quiet, husky murmur. "You might have noticed that you don't have to. Hold back, I mean."

There was a flash of surprise in Lexa's eyes, followed quickly by a giant, hopeful question mark. Clarke slipped her right hand behind Lexa's neck and into her hair, much like Lexa had done when she'd kissed her.

"I'm ready", she whispered and tugged Lexa's head forward into a kiss.

Lexa's lips trembled against hers, hesitant and unsure, and then she let out a strained breath and the tension drained from her body like the sudden undoing of a tightly-wound coil.

And suddenly her arms were around Clarke's waist, pulling her close, her lips pressed forward hungrily and her tongue swiped insistently over Clarke's lower lip. She was kissing her like a drowning woman gasping for a breath of air, desperate and frenzied.

Clarke found herself pressed against the edge of the table, one leg wrapped around Lexa's hips and hands buried into her hair, urging her closer. Lexa's fingers inched beneath the cotton of her shirt, blunt nails digging into her skin and Clarke breathed in sharply, hips jerking. The goblet on the table tipped over and rolled off, hitting the ground with a dull clang.

Lexa's movements grew less frantic, lips gently brushing over Clarke's before she pulled away, wrapping her arms around her in a soft hug and burying her face in the crook of her neck. Clarke closed her eyes and quietly returned the embrace, trailing her fingers over the Commander's back.

It took a few moments for their thundering heartbeats and harsh breathing to simmer down to acceptable levels. Lexa sighed, breath tickling the sensitive skin of Clarke's neck. "There is much we have to do."

Clarke hummed in agreement, but neither of them made a move to disentangle themselves. Calm was a hard thing to come by in the world they lived in, especially for them, and Clarke didn't have the heart to let her go just yet. Lexa felt small in her grasp, fragile and more vulnerable than any of the people outside this tent could ever imagine, and she wanted to keep her here, safely tucked into her arms.

Eventually, Lexa lifted her head. Her stoic mask was firmly back in place, despite the slight flush in her cheeks. "We should continue going over the mechanic's plans."

Clarke nodded distractedly and muttered a quiet, "We should", before taking hold of Lexa's chin and drawing her into another kiss.

For the moment, the world could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: "Yours To Keep" by Lovex

**Author's Note:**

> Rating and relationships/characters will be updated as I go.


End file.
